I witnessed NUMEROUS heinous breaches of etiquette on the subway yesterday. This kind of behavior really pushes me RIGHT over the edge, and though I cannot believe I have to do this, clearly it's time for a primer on how to behave in the subway.
How To Behave in the Subway:
1. Listening to a walkman or ipod is fine. Even if everyone can hear the tinny songs leaking from your headphones, it's okay. not ideal, but okay. What is not okay is bringing a boombox onto the train and forcing everyone to endure listening to Mariah Carey. NOT OKAY. Did this happen? Yes it did. What kind of people do this? Don't ask me, yo, because I don't know.
2. Chewing gum? Okay. Enjoy your gum. Don't chew it in a job interview, though. But smacking/cracking your gum in an otherwise silent car is just rude. I could not concentrate on my New Yorker essay about the Aryan Brotherhood because you, you teenage husssy, were smacking your gum like it was a firecracker. You know how you look when you do that? Gross.
3. It is NEVER acceptable to trim your nails anywhere but the privacy of your own room, preferably when your mate is at work. Why would you trim your nails on the train? It is because you're disgusting? Yes, it is.
I had to change cars yesterday because SOMEONE was very passionately clipping his nails and I was fighting the urge to stand up and clip his entire hand off. But when I switched cars, I soon came across violation number 4.
4. Do not ever, under any circumstances, pull out your genitals in front of a woman and start yanking on them. Just don't ever do this, no matter how much you might want to. Very bad manners.
"Jacking off" in public a bit "old hat" . The best method of dealing with such activity is to loudly point at the offending item and burst out laughing.
How are you on a public exibition of nostril minig or even some inter-pocket bladder relief. (I've seen both on UK subway systems and at sporting events). Now those are gross. Any improvement
Posted by: Bob | October 19, 2004 at 08:06 AM